The Hours

"The Hours." I must say, I was not expecting the movie to be that good. It really surprised me how invested I got in the story and with the characters. I was on the edge of my seat for the entire movie, wondering whether Laura was going to commit suicide or not, and cried when Richard jumped out of the window. Something I noticed, however, was how prevalent depression was in the movie. Practically all of the main characters had some sort of depression, and watching each of them deal with it was really interesting.

Virginia Woolf, as we all know, committed suicide. That was her way of dealing with her depression. It won, in a way. It was played out in the movie excellently, though. You could really see the signs of depression, the endless fatigue that caused Virginia to be in bed all day, the sudden dislike of things she had previously enjoyed, thoughts of suicide, etc. I have to compliment Nicole Kidman for her acting, because the way she played Woolf made it very clear that this was a woman with so much going on. Even if Woolf was standing still, Kidman stood in such a way as to show what Woolf was feeling, such as being in a slouch. And her eyes were always very, very intense. You could almost see right into Virginia's troubled mind. I felt like I could really see "Mrs. Dalloway" forming in her mind, the flash of insight as new ideas came to mind. It was marvelous.

Anyways, back to the depressing stuff. Laura Brown seems to have overcome the depression, for now. I don't know what she was like before her marriage, but based on her husband's descriptions, I believe that Laura was clinically depressed since at least adolescence. How quiet she was, how shy, yet how her eyes had that same look that Woolf's did; an insane void of thought. From the moment Laura appeared on the screen, I knew something was wrong. She was just...off. She would do things, normal things, say meaningless conversation, and there was always just something else behind it: the depression. We watched Laura struggle with it, and I was so caught up in her storyline as she almost committed suicide. But she didn't let it win. Laura got out of that hotel, and then got of her home. I wonder, though, if she still is depressed. When she comes back to Clarissa after Richard's death, I still see the same look in her eyes and face. It makes me wonder what exactly she did up in Canada. It's like, she overcame her suicidal thoughts, and maybe some of the depression, but I think she's still affected by the illness, even more so now that she's the last living member of the family.

And Richard. Richie Richard. I feel like he might have been like his mother; clinically depressed before he even got sick. But I'm not quite sure. He's not as off as his mother is, it's more subtle. But I can see how his childhood could've led him into a slight depression, especially since his mother had it it makes him more genetically inclined to the illness, and then how the AIDS could really make him depressed. Richard's had a hard life. Artists usually do. And yet, I don't quite know what to make of his suicide. In a way, it's an escape, just like Septimus' suicide. Richard was already dying, he was only staying alive for Clarissa. It was obvious he was in pain, both physical and emotional, and the only time he truly seemed happy to me in that entire movie was when he was sitting on that window sill. It's like he saved himself from pain. He didn't want to succumb to the disease. I think Richard wanted control of his own life. I mean, when your own body betrays you then you can really feel like you have no control over anything. Yes, he was keeping himself alive, but barely. Killing himself, in a way, was him defeating the disease by taking control of his life and deciding his own fate. And he's happy! He's written his book, he's said his last loving words to Clarissa, life has meaning to him now that it's back under his control. It's terribly upsetting to us and to Clarissa when he jumps, but somehow I believe Richard was truly at peace and finally happy.

Oh, Clarissa. Mrs. Dalloway, Mrs. Vaughn, Clarissa. She's depressed as well, but in a completely different way from everybody else. I think she's manic-depressive. Clarissa has these moments of such euphoria, like when she's walking through town to buy flowers and declares "It's a beautiful morning!" I thought it was a rather ugly morning myself, but ok. And yet, though she seems to be loving life, Clarissa has moments where she just breaks down and questions everything about her life. She's under the impression, due to Richard, that her life is trivial. She almost seems to ignore Sally, or take her for granted, and sometimes she just sits and stares and thinks. Again, I have to wonder if this depression was with her her entire life or if it's only recent. I think with Clarissa it's actually recent. Maybe like a mid-life crisis due to Richard? She's feeling old, feeling her life is worthless, that she hasn't done anything? I don't know. Clarissa is the one I'm most unsure of, though I am sure that she is depressed. I think, though, that at the end of the movie she is heading towards a better place. The way she acts towards Sally, the way she kisses her, makes it seem like Clarissa is finally understanding her life and her feelings. She does love Sally, and she realizes she needs to show it more. I think her vitality is coming back, and that may be due to Richard committing suicide and allowing Clarissa to come face to face with Laura Brown and understand the whole spectrum of it all.

Love Polygons: Mrs. Dalloway and Wuthering Heights

I've noticed that the love triangles, squares, quadrilaterals, and just polygons in general in "Mrs. Dalloway" seem to mirror the ones in "Wuthering Heights." Well, really, one in particular. The relationships between Clarissa, Peter, and Richard seem an awful lot like the relationships between Cathy, Heathcliff, and Edgar. See, let me simplify it basically. Girl 1 is awfully in love with Guy 1, and he loves her just as passionately. However, this deep, rough passion is too much for Girl 1 and Guy 1, which makes them bad for each other, often resulting in loads of arguments, harsh statements, and hurt feelings. Girl 1 then falls in love with Guy 2, and vice versa, and they have a calm, stable relationship. Both parties are happy, and while the love may not be as passionate, at least it is a peaceful one. And even if old feelings for Guy 1 resurface. Girl 1 stays with Guy 2, and maintains the happy, calm relationship. Simply put, Clarissa and Cathy are Girl 1, obviously since they're the only girls in these love polygons, Peter and Heathcliff are Guy 1, and Richard and Edgar are Guy 2.

Clarissa and Peter have such a past, as do Cathy and Heathcliff. Both parties shared a childhood, and were very close. However, with close relationships come troubles. Cathy and Heathcliff run into class issues, and also conflict over both of their powerful personalities, and their love is constantly tested with anger and arguments. The passion is too much in a situation that just isn't right for it, and thus the relationship fails. Peter knows exactly what to say to Clarissa to upset her, "perfect hostess" for example, and when they are together, or even when they are apart and just thinking of each other, there is anger and pain laced in with the the thoughts and words of love. Think of when Peter grabs Clarissa's arm and demands to know if she is happy.  It doesn't seem healthy, not at all. Though there was no doubt passion, back in Bourton, between Clarissa and Peter, it is too strong of a passion that causes an unhealthy relationship. There's too much anger thrown in with the relationship, caused by two strong personalities that are virtually in constant conflict. It's why I don't think Clarissa should have ended up with Peter, because even if they had started out happy, eventually they would end up butting heads for as long as their marriage would've lasted.

Actually, though, at the beginning of both "Mrs. Dalloway" and "Wuthering Heights" I was rooting for Girl 1 and Guy 1. I wanted Clarissa with Peter, I wanted Cathy with Heathcliff, and this was usually before I met Guy 2. I thought their passion would be able to withstand the anger, but as the novels progressed and I continued to see how wrong Girl 1 and Guy 1 were for each other, no matter how deep their passion, my feelings changed. I didn't like Edgar when I first met him, and I especially didn't like his marriage with Cathy, mainly because she admitted that she did not love him. But she grew to. And there was a happy healthy relationship between she and Edgar. They did love each other, they supported one another, they fit will together. Sure, maybe it wasn't the same kind of love, the same burst of passion that Cathy had for Heathcliff, but it was something that was good for her, and that made me happy. It's the same with Clarissa and Richard. I really grew to like Richard. That scene with him and Clarissa, where he wanted so badly to say "I love you" but just couldn't bring himself to say it, in so many words of course, is just too freaking adorable. I could feel the love radiating off the page, even though no words of love were actually being  shared. With Peter and Clarissa, I felt passion laced with bitterness and anger; something strong overshadowed with even more strong feelings. But with Richard and Clarissa, the feelings are calmer, more stabilized. As with Cathy and Edgar, Richard and Clarissa just fit well together. They can communicate so much while saying very little, which works so well for them, whereas with Peter and Clarissa, a lot is said but so much more is kept hidden. Richard and Clarissa are happy together, at least that's what I think, and I see absolutely no reason for them to be any other way.

Clarissa vs. Septimus: Thoughts

Though the title of the book is "Mrs. Dalloway" I feel like it actually should be "Mrs. Dalloway and Mr. Smith" because Septimus is such a powerful, important part to this novel, and in some ways is Clarissa's counterpart. She revels in life, he defies it in death. But what really strikes me is the difference between Clarissa's and Septimus' thoughts. It's such completely different narration, and it gives both characters a sense of depth and reality that I have to applaud Woolf for.

Clarissa's thoughts sound like a regular internal monologue, except that she's not performing for anybody. It's like we're peering into her head, seeing the road her mind takes, hearing her thoughts and the connections she makes. We don't necessarily understand everything (what the hell happened in Constantinople) but it feels like a real person's thoughts. I mean, the way that Clarissa will get sidetracked and go back and repeat certain phrases or words, or how her thoughts will get interrupted, or how she'll even completely lose her train of thought is just so normal and it's almost kind of funny to see real thoughts put on a page like that. I don't think mine would be quite as interesting, but it would be cool to see what people thought of my stream of consciousness thoughts. I wonder if they would understand what I was thinking about or not.

Anyways, Clarissa's thoughts are normal and what you would expect to hear if you could actually tune in to other people's thoughts. Septimus, on the other hand, has this unbelievably vivid mind, you would think he was either an artistic genius, a prophet of some sort, or just on drugs. While his thoughts, like, Clarissa's, are coming straight from the mind to the page with the same instances of repetition, interruption, and loss of train of thought, his thoughts are way more vivid. It's like Clarissa's thoughts are words on a wall, and Septimus' are flashes of words and ideas and colors and images on a canvas. I feel Septimus' thoughts when he says them, the emotions come across clearly. I see the images he paints, and I can see them in his mind's eye. I get so caught up in Septimus' thoughts, I almost feel like I'm him. With Clarissa, I feel like I'm like her, I can relate to the way her mind works, but Septimus just draws me in until I think that I'm thinking his thoughts. It's intense, and I don't think I've quite had a reading experience like it before.

I think Septimus' thoughts are so vivid and seem so real and inviting is because Woolf had had very similar, if not the same, thoughts. It doesn't feel like someone is writing Septimus as a crazy character, having these wildly absurd thoughts. No, Septimus feels just as real as any other character, and his thoughts do as well, if not more! The mental illness feels real. That sounds weird to say, but it's true. Sometimes, the problems characters have in other books doesn't feel as real, and I think it's because of the author's lack of firsthand experience with said problem. Woolf having suffered from mental illness and thoughts similar to Septimus' makes her writing seem perfectly accurate.

Now, that isn't to say that Clarissa doesn't seem accurate. No, she's very relatable, and that's just it. I don't think there's very many people in the world who can say that they haven't had a normal thought similar to the kinds Clarissa has throughout the novel. Not as many people can say they've experienced what Septimus has and can relate to his thoughts. It really is something else for Woolf to take an experience and a voice so foreign to most of the public and to make it something tangible and real.

Clarissa is believable. Septimus is believable. But Clarissa just lives, and Septimus, to me, thrives.

What Made Sally Seton Change?

This is something that has been nagging me as we've been reading "Mrs. Dalloway." We got a view of Sally Seton as this unique individual back at Bourton, this opinionated, passionate, free-spirited, rebellious, artistic girl. And I loved her. I loved this crazy character that came almost out of nowhere, and gave us a completely new look to Clarissa. I was smiling ear to ear as I read the passages about Clarissa and Sally, and not just because gay couples are the cutest couples, but because it made Clarissa seem real. It gives her depth, this teenage romance that goes beyond Peter or Richard, because we see a part of Clarissa that is most often hidden. Very few people will admit to having such a romance in their younger years, despite the fact that such romances occur quite frequently. The fact that Virginia Woolf brought this fact to light in "Mrs. Dalloway", and especially in a time such as the 20's, really makes me happy.

But I digress. Though this whole passage and discussion about love and women and Bourton is wonderful, it later leaves me questioning: What made Sally Seton change? We hear later, from Peter Walsh, that Sally, that rebellious young spirit against all things respectable, such as the admirable Hugh, has married a rich man and is living in a house near Manchester! No! It can't be! Not Sally Seton! It's such a jarring fact. How could Sally have gone from despising men like Hugh to marrying one similar to him?

Well. That's not completely true. We don't actually know anything about Sally's husband, except that he's rich. Still, there's a class and social air that comes along with that wealthy man and house, and that is definitely not a society that Sally at Bourton would've wanted to have been a part of. So what made her change? Did she fall in love with this rich man and change herself for him? Did she grow out of her rebellious spirit? Did she come to a realization that the life she was living wasn't truly the life for her? What was it that made Sally Seton change?!

This question drives me nuts. I mean, as much as I would've loved to have seen Clarissa and Sally skip off into the sunset hand-in-hand, that relationship was never going to happen. Clarissa was too set in her social class by Bourton, was raised in such a way that running off with a woman and shirking her heterosexual housewife duties was never a thought that crossed her mind. I mean, can you imagine Clarissa planning a dinner party with Sally? It just doesn't seem like Clarissa could last in Sally's world, even if she tried. I think the freedom and ease and rebellion would be too much for her.

Yet, how can Sally do the opposite, leave her world for Clarissa's? How?! Clarissa wouldn't make it in Sally's world, but there Sally could live! She was living! She has the most spirit and character out of anyone in this book, though Septimus is a close second, and to me it seems such a waste that she throws away her flower arranging for a wealthy man and house in Manchester. I just wish I knew what made her change.